you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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