I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize