im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize