It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize