So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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