All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
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She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
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If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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