why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize