at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize