My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize