Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize