found the other keg... it's in the tree
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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