speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize