I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize