at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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