the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
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The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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