she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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