Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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