I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize