dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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