im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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