I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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