It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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