I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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