This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The struggles of a small town man whore
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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