just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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