Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize