I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize