That's when you crack a 10am beer
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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