In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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