wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize