I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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