Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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