Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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