i think my tv is drunk
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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