I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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