Dual....:-)
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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