I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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