Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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