I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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