we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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