Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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