just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize