i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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