yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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