Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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