Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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