I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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