so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize