Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize