so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
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hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
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We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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