Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
im on a boat
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