he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Send us your Text From Last Night!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.